I've said itbefore, screamed it, whimpered it, but still I'm a man - over 6 foottall, muscular and hairy, and wishing the way I have wished since I wasold enough to know the difference. I want to be a woman.I may as well wish for the moon.Sometimes the difference between what I am and what I wish to be fadesto a background noise I can almost ignore. Today is not one of thosedays. Today, everywhere I look I'm stabbed by images of womanhood thatprovoke this desperate jealousy. It's a late summer Sunday, the towncentre bustling with shoppers and people out enjoying a stroll in thesunshine. I'm trapped by the window display for a ladies wear chainstore, intent on the latest collection of dresses I long for, but willnever wear. I stare at my watch, tap my foot and look impatient, asthough I am waiting for some fickle female inside to decide what shewants. I live alone though, I always have. I was too tied up inside tosettle down with a woman I would always have seen as a god.A group of. I got a new lab partner that day. That really wouldn't be important at all to my life, except that, his name was Justin Caros. My heart leaped. "Justin," I addressed him, barely able to contain my joy, he looked shocked I spoke to him. "Do you have a brother names Brycen?" He looked at me funny for a long moment, and replied, "No." My heart sank, shot through again. "I have a cousin though," he replied thoughtfully. "How old is he?" I started to get really excited. "Twenty," her replied hesitantly. I wanted to scream! "He lives around here?" "Yeah, you know him?" "Yeah, do you have his number? I desperately need to get a hold of him, it's so urgent," I pleaded. He gave me a stranger look. "I don't have it. But I'm going to see him tomorrow, I can get it." "Would you tell him that Jordan is trying to get a hold of him? And that she's sorry?" He nodded, still shocked. To my luck Justin wasn't at school the whole next week. Conveniently down with the flu, apparently. I was.
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